Many areas of divorce are challenging to work through, but child custody is one that often brings out the fight in both parents. It is understandable that you think you know what’s best for your children, but you must remember that they also have another parent. Because you have to put the needs of the kids first, you likely need to be willing to negotiate the terms of the parenting plan with your ex.
There are a few things that you can do to make the negotiations a bit easier for everyone involved. You may find that reducing the stress can help you think clearer about what the children truly need.
One of the main things that you need to do during negotiations is remember that a bad spouse isn’t necessarily a bad parent. There’s a good chance that your ex can be a great parent, so try to focus on their good points.
When you’re going through the child custody case, you can’t try to bring up the negative things they did in their relationship with you during the marriage. The only exception to this is if there is a history of violent behavior or addiction that needs to be addressed in the child custody agreement.
You must also work toward a child custody agreement that provides the children with the stability the need; however, think carefully about the rules and guidelines you propose. Make sure that they can’t be misconstrued so that you don’t have to worry about addressing the same problems again. You do need to set the parenting plan according to what the kids need now because you will have the option to modify them later if necessary.